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CA family lawyerThe holiday season is around the corner, and families with divorced parents may find it difficult to split time with their children. While this is understandable, it is important to follow the custody plan in place and to make the most of the time you have with your children. Here are five tips to keep in mind as the holidays approach.

Put the children first: Holidays can be a time when many great memories are formed for children. Instead of worrying about why your ex was 10 minutes late to drop off the children or whether a new love interest of your ex’s will be at a holiday event, focus on what you can do to make the holidays a joyous time for your children. If it is possible, you may want to try to do some activity with your children and ex.

Be patient and understanding: The holidays are hard on divorced parents because part of the time, they will be away from their children. Remember that when you have the children, your ex does not and he or she probably misses them greatly. This can be a lonely time, especially if it is your first year divorced or if other family is not nearby. Try to keep these dynamics in mind when interacting with your ex.

In addition, it is important to be patient with your children, who are going through a big transition. It may be hard to hear, “I’d rather be with Dad,” but these feelings will pass with time.

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CA child support lawyerThe experience of having a child can be one of the most exciting times in a person’s life. However, even though there are many childbirths each year, there has been a significant decrease in that amount over the past several years. Many reasons may include lack of financial stability, shifted focus on career goals, or even a simple fear of having to potentially file for divorce and obtain child support.

Statistics Showing Decrease in Birth Rates

The birth rate has reached a historic low in the state of California, mostly due to the decision by a large number of millennials to put off parenthood to establish a career and to obtain an education.

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San Jose Child Custody LawyerWhen parents make the decision to file for divorce, the sudden change can have a huge impact on their children, who are used to having both parents around all the time. Creating a parenting plan that outlines child custody and visitation rights is beneficial, so that each parent can still be a part of their children’s lives.

What is a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan is a written agreement between both parents that outlines a schedule for when the children will spend time with each parent, as well as how the parents will make decisions for the sake of their children, including the children’s health and education. Both the parents and children will have an idea of what to expect when a parenting plan is in place, and this document will become a court order after it is signed by both parents.

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San Jose father’s rights attorney, American fathers, father’s rights, parenting time, San Jose child custody attorneyA recent study of American dads reveals that a father’s role has greatly expanded over the course of the last few decades. In addition, the study showed that fathers believed that being a parent was central to their identity.

However, the study also reported that many viewed women as being the better-equipped gender to rear children. Studies like this underscore the need for zealous advocacy for father’s rights so that the custody arrangement ordered by the courts is consistent with the reality of how families operate today.

Findings Made by the Study

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children and divorce, San Jose child custody attorney, communication and divorce,   divorce process, San Jose divorceBreaking the news to your children about divorce is a conversation that every parent dreads. There are, however, a few simple things a parent can say and do to help make this talk a little easier.

Consider the following tips when speaking to your child about divorce.

  • Ask what the child already knows. It is critical to start here so that you and your child are on the same page. Children pick up on many things, and they may understand that a divorce is imminent. However, they also may not fully understand what the outcomes of a divorce will be. Children often have misconceptions and misunderstandings. By asking what the child already knows can dispel some of the untruths that your child has.
  • Keep your answers simple. Tailor your responses to the child’s age. If you have several children, you may have to talk to each one individually. Try not to get ahead of yourself, and keep in mind that you may not have all the answers to how a divorce will play out. Keeping the answers simple will avoid unnecessary worry on the part of the children.
  • Understand your child’s main concerns. For smaller children, they are often concerned with their own safety. Make your child feel physically safe at all times during these conversations and when discussing future plans.
  • Ask your child questions. It is important for a child to feel like his or her emotions are heard. Asking “How do you feel?” can convey that you care about your child and that your child is a consideration in the divorce process. 
  • Keep the conversation going. Many children will have continuing concerns. Younger children often ask the same question over and over again. It is important to keep in mind that this is new territory for a child and that getting to a place of understanding can take time. As the conversation progresses, you may be able to add in additional details that you initially left out.

Contact a San Jose Divorce Lawyer

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